5 DATING MISTAKES
To successfully date right and secure your way into a beautiful marriage experience, you need to first get your dating right and avoid certain mistakes that alter the process negatively.
A dating relationship is designed to help individuals understand themselves better and build lasting connections, but unfortunately, some things affect the success of a dating relationship and today I will be sharing with you five (5) dating mistakes a lot of people make that ruin their chances of having an interesting and exciting dating experience.
1: Dating without goals.
What defines the success of a dating relationship is how intentional the individuals are about getting it right.
Without goals and intentions, many people easily fall into the bad habit of dating passively, That means just waiting for the next person to show enough interest and then reacting to whatever they bring to the table as if you're auditioning for the position of a soulmate.
The best way to get your dating right is to spend alone time creating a description of what your ideal relationship looks like so that you can use it to identify which future partners or dates align with that idea and which don't.
Dating with goals and a purpose in mind removes stress and supports us figure out which potential partners we should give more time and more energy to and helps us gain clarity around why we're dating.
Knowing why you are dating removes confusion, keeps you from staying too long with people who aren't right for you, and moves you in the direction of finding good partners, faster."
2: Dating out of loneliness.
Many people make the mistake of thinking their loneliness problem exists because they are not in a relationship, and as such rush into a dating relationship to avoid being lonely.
It's fine to want a relationship, but when you start forcing connections and relationships because it's what you think you should be doing or because you're uncomfortable being alone then it becomes a problem.
Needing someone or something to feel good about yourself is a sign that you don't need such a thing but that you need yourself more than ever.
Anytime you look for love with a need for a partner to fill you up, you are surrendering your power of sustenance and losing yourself to gain something that is not reliable.
Just like Audrey Hope once said, "Anyone who succeeds in finding true love must do so by being their authentic selves and in their power.
3: Carrying over past hurt to the relationship.
A lot of people are still dealing with the hurts of their past relationships while in a new relationship.
If you are the kind of person that moves from one relationship to another, and never allow yourself the time to deal with the pain or issues that come from a breakup, then you are laying a rocky foundation for future relationships.i
Make sure you are healed and have dropped the baggage of your last love before you take your wounds in the new one.
Seek the support of a therapist or relationship coach and work out the patterns and themes of what hurts, what still lingers in your heart, and where you are vulnerable."
4: Comparing your Ex with your present partner.
It's very easy to fall for the temptation of comparing your ex with your partner especially if there are finding it difficult to settle in with you or you are still emotionally attached to your Ex, either way, creating a comparison is bad and won't help your relationship to grow well.
Your Ex is “Ex” for a reason, it means that chapter of your life has ended and is now in the past, Yes it happened but you passed that already.
“ No matter how good your yesterday was, it's gone, and can not be retrieved back and still holding on to it will only stop you from experiencing something better”
Letting go of past incidents creates room for better things to happen in the present and the future.
5: Getting involved in sex before time.
As a relationship coach and marriage counselor, I am yet to see what builds immature intimacy in life than pre-marital sex. Sex has a way of rushing the process of
intimacy build-up and creating an emotional bond that has no solid foundation to rest on.
Being in a dating relationship with someone you love and find attractive is very sexually tempting, it takes a huge level of self-discipline to avoid not being caught on by the high sexual tension that normally erupts when both of you are alone together.
Keeping sex out of a dating relationship has proven to be more impactful than entangling in the web of sex and losing yourself to someone that is yet to fully understand you.
The absence of sex in a dating relationship creates space for proper friendship, and this is the core requirement for a beautiful marriage experience and what dating truly stands for.
Dating is a chance to get to know someone for who they truly are to settle down with them, it's more like a “Let's see how it goes” something and as such it is unhealthy to engage in sexual practice with someone that is just checking you out and yet to make to a decision whether you are the one or not.