Four things you need to do to grow your relationship
Relationships do not grow unwanted like a weed; every successful relationship is a product of conscious acts and commitment.
Your ability to remain committed to the growth of your relationship irrespective of your emotional state and desire is what guarantees your success in it and secures your spot in the designated destination.
It is important to note that a relationship requires work to work. The road to having a beautiful and exciting relationship is not an easy one to pass through, it is filled with many mixed feelings and tons of inner fight and struggle to move on.
Irrespective of whatever we desire to have in relationships, we must intentionally choose and want it and also be willing to grow it into maturity individually.
Dating comes with a lot of up and down, the difference in personality strikes very hard and make the relationship sometimes unbearable to cope with but with a valid decision to be with someone, you will be willing to make certain adjustments that will create avenues for you to have a more comforting experience with the person you have chosen to be with.
You must understand that there is no perfect relationship; every relationship is built by two imperfect individuals who put in efforts to make the relationship better.
Though there is no one particular road map to a successful relationship, but still, there are certain things that secure our way to having one and also prepare us to have a meaningful relationship with our partner.
Some for the key elements that guarantees a successful relationship is as follows:
1:CHOOSE IT.
The key to a successful relationship is acceptance, have a valid intention for your relationship and the person you are having it with, choose the person and the relationship and see how everything will automatically fall for you.
One of the major reasons why there is so much lack, misunderstanding and in-satisfaction in relationships is because the people involved in it are not giving their all to it, they are in it but constantly have the desire to escape from it.
Skepticism is a greater killer!
I have come to understand that sometimes most people like the way things are going in their relationship but don’t like the person they are having it with, simply because they person is not their supposed “SPEC” They constantly wish it was another person, someone they so much desire but can’t be with and this will cause a lot of confusion and trouble in the relationship.
Accepting someone and believing in the relationship you have with them make things easy for you to process; you won’t see them as a waste of time and you will be willing to make certain sacrifices for the growth of the relationship and also for the betterment of the person you are having it with because you accept the person and whatever he or she have to offer.
Why be with someone you don't feel connected to?
So the first step to having or cultivating a successful relationship is choosing to be in the relationship.
2:KNOW YOUR NEEDS.
Relationships easily go wrong when needs are not met and it becomes more frustrating when both individuals or one of them don’t know what he or she really need to survive as a person in the relationship.
Every romantic relationship begins with two distinctively beautiful people coming together to become one; now for that relationship to grow each person needs to know and understand what he or she desires from the other person and the relationship at large. You must have a prepared checklist for yourself before going into it.
Knowing who you are and what you desire in a partner serve as a guide to the kind of relationship you should go into and how you can be shown love or love.
Many relationships suffer from emotional and physical miscommunication and this happens because both individuals fail to connect to the needs of their partner or one of them doesn't really know what he or she needs thereby making it difficult for the other person to see through and fulfill.
These needs might be the way you want to be shown love, treated in the relationship and cared for.
Until you know yourself enough to get hold of these things you can’t really know if it is what you really need. For you to enjoy and experience complete intimate moments in your relationship you need to design your checklist, know your love language, your strength, your weakness and the areas you need support, and how you want the support.
Communication and commitment in relationships becomes easy to offer when both couples understand themselves and are will to fulfill each other’s needs.
3:BE FLEXIBLE.
Never stick to your own idea, be flexible!
One major thing that stops most people from experiencing the beauty of love and relationships is their mindset toward it.
There is no perfect soul on earth and no matter how long and hard you search you can never find anyone who has all the requirements you need in a relationship.
Humans are built to complement one another and relationships create the avenue for that purpose to be met, that’s why you are unique and no one is like you.
For you to enjoy the excitement of being in a relationship, you must be willing to make certain adjustments and put yourself in a position that is healthy and helpful even if you don’t like it.
In a relationship you don’t really need to put yourself first in-fact for a relationship to be successful. Both individuals need to kill their desire to please themselves always and put their partner's needs ahead of their own needs, when this is done there will be nothing lacking in the relationship because both individuals are getting the benefits of being together.
The day you accept someone into your life as a romantic partner, that day you accredit certain right to that person and cease to exist alone; for you to switch from your previous self to this new person that needs to fulfill and look out for the need of another person is not always easy but with commitment and love in place the pressure is not much.
Relationship is all about making changes and adjustments, putting yourself in a position that fits and compliments the life system of another person, no one can take you the way you are, no matter how good you think you are, you must make changes.
4:BE SENSITIVE.
Many relationships are dying because of ignorance and lack of care and attention.
Relationship is like a little baby, you need to feed it and constantly look out for it even in maturity (marriage ) you must not take your eyes off it.
Many couples have lost the spark and excitement in their relationship because they refuse to pay attention to the issues on ground. They wake up go to work, come back tired and they sleep; no time dedicated to their partner to discuss and know what is happening with them.
As a relationship coach, I always tell my clients during sessions, especially the married ones , “that spending quality time together is the essence of getting married”.
Without creating time to be together, that marriage or relationship will fall apart in no time.
I have come to understand that some of the most important discussions we have had with someone in our life didn’t just begin at once, it started at a slow pace and sometimes from very meaningless conversations, creating time for your partner.
It is one thing to know what your partner needs but it is more important to know when they actually need it and without you being sensitive around them you can’t really fulfill their needs in time, sometimes being late is equal to not being there, medicine after death is useless.
So you need to be sensitive in your relationship, as a man knows the various voices of your partner, women have multiple voices and each voice goes along with something. The best way to detect the present feelings of any man or woman is from their voice whether they fake it or not. There is always a need for doing it , so be sensitive to know when to act, and act.
As a woman, know when your man needs to rest, needs to talk and know when to ask for something.
The only person you are authorized to know more than any other person,thing or profession is your partner, relationship and marriages crumble these days easily because we know a lot about our phone and work but know nothing about our partner, that’s why we have so many successful doctors, engineers, bankers, lawyers who are poor,weak and failed husband and wife, failed parents and partner.
Sensitivity earns you a spot in your partner's life that no one can take or fill, so even if you go wrong and the person decides to leave, there should be something convincing enough to drag them back to accept your apology; no one is perfect but try to create a good environment for your partner.