One of the best things you can do to have a happy relationship as a lady with men is to learn how men love, which differs from how women love. A woman’s love is sweet, kind, compassionate, passionate, and on display for the world to see. But if men love differently, then how do you know if he loves you?
As a love and dating relationship coach and marriage counselor, one of the things I have come to understand is that a lot of ladies don't know when a guy loves them or when he is just trying to use them.
The inability of most ladies to ascertain the love of a man and understand how serious it is has led a lot of them both old and young into a state of dilemma, chaos and emotional distress.
So we end up having statements like;
👇👇
“Love na scam”
“Men are scum”
Understanding the difference between these two possibilities is what defines and designs your experience in any relationship.
I called both intentions possibilities because you might think someone truly loves you, not knowing that he is just using you for fun and to while away time.
And in the same way, you might think someone is just trying to use you, unknowing to you that they actually really love you.
So how can a lady know when a guy loves her in this time and generation?
1: HE WILL BE INTERESTED IN YOU.
The first way to know that a guy really really loves you as a lady is when he puts you first.
He values your friendship and takes whatever matters to you seriously.
When he is asking for sex and you tell him No! No sex before marriage he will let you be, he won't get mad at you or run after another but remain committed to you and love you more, because he is not interested in sex but you as a person.
A man by nature gives his all to whatever he is interested in, his commitment to you will know no bounds and this will automatically lead to the profession of his love for you, protection, and provisions.
a: protection.
If a man loves you, you’re his most prized possession, and he’s going to make sure nothing happens to you. This instinct is also ingrained in his DNA. He’s been raised to protect his family at all costs, and if he loves you, you are now part of that family.
When he is interested in you, he saves you from stress and painful experience; he does this by trying to help you fix situations, and help you plan your schedule.
He wouldn’t dare to cheat on you because he knows that will hurt you, or allow you to go through critical situations alone; even if he doesn’t have the solution to that problem, he will support you and encourage till it's all over.
b: provision.
When a man loves you he will provide for you even if he is not earning much, he will always want to give his best to make you happy and to also let you know he is capable.
The strength, confidence, and drive of a man come from his ability to protect and provide for his loved ones, and if you don't find yourself in that space in his life just know that he is not fully interested in you.
A man’s ego takes a massive hit if he can’t provide for the ones he loves. He needs to provide to feel like a man, and the more he is able to give, the more proud and alive he feels. The same is true for dating.
A man wants to spend his money on a woman he’s falling for, he wants to treat you to dinner and a movie, he wants to help pay for your car repairs and clear some of your bills; He needs to provide for you to prove that he loves you and is a man worthy of the distinction.
There are, of course, men who say they love you but won’t provide for you. And if you ask for what you need or for support of any kind, you’re labeled a “gold digger, but the truth is if you’re too scared to make them provide, they get everything they want from you for nothing.
Not all men have the financial capabilities to take care of your expenses and treat you to fancy dinners, but these men will still try to provide for your basic needs and show concern and undying support.
2:HE WILL BE ACCOMODATING.
It is funny how a lot of ladies fail to read body language and detect signs; when a guy loves you, he will be all over you and very receptive.
I know this can also go the wrong way but here is how to know he is genuine.
He will not just accept you into his life for the main time but also for the future.
Nothing is more important or of high regard to a man like his future, so if when he is planning and preparing for his future and you don't see any vacancy for yourself, nor anything that fits you in a good position in his life, just know he is playing with you or maybe he places you in a very minor position in his plans and life just know he doesn't love and value you.
When a man loves you, he comes to you with his life goals and wants you to plan along with him, he will be very excited to plan life with you.
Take note, even if you are mentioned make sure you see a working plan that will lead to the actualization of both his plans for himself and you too.
It is one thing to have a plan but it is of more importance to have a working means of actualizing the plan.
So during or after hearing the plans check from his actions, check if everything in the plan is well aligned with his actions or if he is just bluffing.
3: HE WILL RESPECT WHAT YOUR REPRESENT
When a man is in love there is always an overflow; the love of a man can not be contained by just the woman alone, it will pour on her family, her friends, even her church will have a touch of it.
Men are extreme beings and tend to live life that way, they are one-sided by nature, they don't really do well trying to get along with many things at the same time, their focus is their focus, so if they focus on you, you will have more than enough.
A man defines love by respect, that’s why as a lady when you fail to respect a man he says you don’t love him, in the same way when he is in love with you he will respect you, your decisions, parents and siblings.
This level of respect will be highly seen in his dealings with you; he will always want your opinion on issues, treat your parents like his own and care for them and you too.
This will automatically make him listen to you when you complain about something or have an observation, he will try to amend the situation and act right because he respects you.
When you respect someone, you listen to them, stay loyal, faithful, and committed to them even if you are not getting anything as a reward for it.
So his gestures towards you will not be controlled by what he gets from you but by the level of value he places on your affiliation with him.
4:HE WILL LEAD YOU.
This is very important, when a man loves you he will be patient with you and very committed to helping you become the best version of yourself.
He tries to know your life vision, goals, and dreams and see how he can help you achieve them.
He will be at your service, always willing to sacrifice and make sure your life is getting results.
Every man is a born leader which means they can drive and influence someone easily.
When he loves you, he will make sure your personality compliments his desired future, so if you are not educated he sends you to school or supports you till you become a graduate, you don't know how to dress he will teach you, you don't have clothes he will support you.
Whatever you lack and he finds attractive he will find a way to help you have it, so his commitment to you will not just be to be with you but to also help you become someone great.
NB.
The goal of every relationship is not necessarily to make you happy but to help you become a better person.
“HELP”
The man is not designed to make you become but to help you become, so while he is supporting you and making sure you are in a good position in his life, also know that to whom much is given more is expected.
Do well to equally help yourself to become better and also be of value in his life, and if you don't feel the same way about him don't use him, be honest with him and let him know that you don't have the same intentions for him.
Good bless you
Shalom ✨🦅.